In the past few days,
uncomfortable silence has slowly crept in into my world and with it; I am
withering, smaller within myself like the Touch-Me-Not flower that had just
been touch. Many things that were once mine seems to distance away and I ended
up being a mere spectator to the show, but I seem to not liking it,
unfortunately. Some of my private galaxies were been blown to bits. I have tried
visiting them in my head but then, the small debris from the impact keeps
hitting me, it wasn’t comfortable. 10x times, increased my lighting up
cigarette. It seems to produce a nice red flame and beautiful smoke rings but
from the inside it’s eating me up hollow. 10x times, the rate of my sleep
decreased. It seems to give me more time but I found myself with no time. As
Charlie Chaplin would say, my lips didn’t know what’s happening with me. It
just keeps smiling. But the clouds were slowly forming; now it’s thick and
dark. Like an overblown balloon, you never know when it’s going to burst. It’s
just clinging on to its final elasticity. It will burst soon…
BAMMM!!!
Title: The Forlorn Man
Medium: Acrylic on Canvas
Size: 30x24 Inches
Price: Please contact the artist directly.
Signed and dated at the bottom right hand corner.
Music!!! Because that’s
all I was left with and Silence!!! Because everything turned painfully silent.
Painting!!! Because it’s the only one thing that had not betrayed me and Me!!!
Because I seem to barely know myself. Voids were left behind and boundaries being
drawn. It was not a word said but it said it all with a piercing thrust. So I tried
to withdraw but unfortunately, so did a big chunk of life from the inside. I
wasn’t ready for it but it happened and things were never the same anymore. Uncomfortable
silence spread; soon it took over most of the things that were once the first
thing of the day and finally weaned me like a baby. Options were clear; but options
I didn’t want to choose. I needed a hideaway.
As the world came crashing
in from, it seems, every direction, questions started to bang my door. I didn’t
open. As the confusion over shadowed, I was left to talking to myself. It was
no comfort but it seems to be the only comfort. Silence was what was killing me
from the inside but silence was all that was found. Memories became more vivid,
but this time they wanted to haunt. Somewhere unknown, a Black-Hole was created
and it was doing what it should. There seems to be no escape from it, except that
you run as far away as possible. But this was a black hole unlike any and it catches
up soon. I was tired out running. It’s like one of those days when I am
painting and couldn’t decide upon what color to use; those times when disaster
always happens in my works. You never know what to expect. You are only hoping
for the best when its finish. This is a lonely place and I am an artist inside
it. I have problems telling my story and that’s why I paint. I just keep
telling myself, “I will get over it”.
Last Word: All these
are over now it seems and in a few days, I will be meeting my family. I am so
excited about it. I have been missing my mom so very much lately. I can’t seem
to even remember her face now…
